California Christmastime

California Christmastime
Performer(s): The main cast — First Appearance: ""My Mom, Greg's Mom and Josh's Sweet Dance Moves!""
Written by: Rachel Bloom, Aline Brosh McKenna, Adam Schlesinger, Jack Dolgen, Dan Gregor and Steven M. Gold — Genre: Holiday-Infused Glam Rock

California Christmastime is just a golden state of mind. Chet’s nuts roasting in the bright sunlight—Put on some pants, Chet!
— Rebecca, "I Hope Josh Comes to My Party!"

California Christmastime was a song performed by Rebecca, Josh, Greg, Paula and Heather Davis. They extolled the virtues of celebrating the winter holiday in southern California. The song was first heard in the Season One episode "My Mom, Greg's Mom and Josh's Sweet Dance Moves!". The song is track 20 on the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: Original Television Soundtrack (Season 1 - Vol.1).

The song with lyricsEdit

California Christmastime - "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend"03:03

California Christmastime - "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend"


Well, you can take your snow and shove it,
This is our Christmas, and we love it!
It’s 100 degrees, this elf is Vietnamese,
That’s the way that California does it!

Even our Santa has a suntan,
He’s also an unemployed stunt man.
Is he even awake?
(Yeah, I’m just really baked.)
If he can be Santa Claus, anyone can!

California Christmastime
Is just a golden state of mind.
Chet’s nuts roasting in the bright sunlight—
Put on some pants, Chet!

And what would Christmas be
Without historically low mountain snow
Causing staggering drought?
But hey, this eggnog froyo’s super tight!
Super tight!
‘Cause this is California,
And we do Christmas right!
California Christmastime.

Don we now our surf apparel,
And we have our own kind of Christmas carol.
It’s this chick named Carol,
She does henna tattoos.
Carol’s 50 but no judgment,
She’s still finding herself.
We’re all finding ourselves!

Okay, there is no easy answer
For our high rates of skin cancer.
It took my dad’s life,
And it killed my wife.
Hang ten, Rudolph and Prancer!

California Christmastime,
We gather ‘round and sing songs by Sublime.
And all our local reggae bands are white.
The kids get lots of toys on Christmas morn
‘cause Daddy makes big bucks directing porn.
They may have gonorrhea,
But at least it’s not frostbite!
It’s not frostbite!

‘Cause this is California,
And we do Christmas right!
California Christmastime!
California Christmastime!
California Christmastime!
California Christmastime!
California Christmastime!
California Christmastime!
California Christmastime!
Calif…you have places to be, I get it.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Songs
Season 1 Songs

· "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Theme Song"
· "West Covina (song)"
· "The Sexy Getting Ready Song"
· "I'm So Good At Yoga"
· "Feelin' Kinda Naughty"
· "Face Your Fears"
· "I Have Friends"
· "A Boy Band Made Up of Four Joshes"
· "Settle For Me"

· "Sex with a Stranger"
· "I Love My Daughter"
· "I'm a Good Person"
· "I Give Good Parent"
· "What'll It Be"
· "Sexy French Depression"
· "His Status is...Preferred"
· "Where's the Bathroom?"
· "California Christmastime"
· "Women Gotta Stick Together"
· "Dear Joshua Felix Chan"

· "Having a Few People Over"
· "Put Yourself First"
· "Textmergency"
· "Where Is The Rock?"
· "You Stupid Bitch"
· "Group Hang"
· "Romantic Moments"
· "Cold Showers"
· "JAP Battle"
· "Flooded with Justice
· "Gettin' Bi"
· "I'm The Villain In My Own Story"

· "Dream Ghost"
· "I Could If I Wanted To"
· "Clean Up on Aisle 4"
· "Heavy Boobs"
· "I Gave You a UTI"
· "Angry Mad"
· "Oh My God I Think I Like You"
· "After Everything I've Done For You (That You Didn't Ask For)"
· "One Indescribable Instant"

Season 2 Songs

· "Just a Girl in Love"
· "Love Kernels"
· "We Should Definitely Not Have Sex Right Now"
· "Maybe This Dream"
· "Greg's Drinking Song"
· "Ping Pong Girl"
· "The Math of Love Triangles"
· "It Was a S*** Show"

· "We Tapped That Ass"
· "Makey Makeover"
· "Thought Bubbles"
· "Triceratops Ballet"
· "Friendtopia"
· "Stuck in the Bathroom"
· "Research Me Obsessively"
· "You Go First"
· "So Maternal"

· "Duh!"
· "Who's The New Guy?"
· "George's Turn"
· "We'll Never Have Problems Again"
· "Remember That We Suffered"
· "Santa Ana Winds"
· "Let's Have Intercourse"

· "You’re My Best Friend (And I Know I’m Not Yours)"
· "Man Nap"
· "(Tell Me I'm Okay) Patrick"
· "Period Sex"
· "What a Rush to Be a Bride"

Season 3 Songs

· "Where's Rebecca Bunch?"
· "Let's Generalize About Men"
· "You Do/You Don’t Want To Be Crazy"
·I've Got My Head In The Clouds
·Strip Away My Conscience
· "The Buzzing From The Bathroom"
· "The Moment Is Me"
·I Go To The Zoo

· "Scary Scary Sexy Lady"
· "The End of The Movie"
· "Maybe She's Not Such A Heinous Bitch After All"
· "I Feel Like This Isn't About Me"
·A Diagnosis
·This Is My Movement
·The Very First Penis I Saw
·My Friend's Dad



Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Reprises

· "West Covina (I)"
· "West Covina (II)"
· "Settle For Me (I)"
· "Settle For Me (II)"

· "I'm a Good Person (silent)"
· "The Sexy Gonna Do It Song"
· "The Trent Is Getting Ready Song"

· "I Have Friends (reprise)"
· "Flooded with Justice (reprise)
· "I Could If I Wanted To (reprise)"
· "Thought Bubbles (reprise)"

· "The Math of Love Triangles (reprise)"
· "Rebecca's Reprise"
·"After Everything You Made Me Do (That You Didn’t Ask For)"

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Album Bonus tracks

· "Sex Toys"

· "It's Not Difficult To Define Miss Douche"

· "Santa Ana Winds 6 A.M." (Demo)

· "I'm Just A Girl In Love" (featuring Adam Schlesinger)

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