"JAP Battle" Explicit
Audra Levine: This is real deep beef from way Back in the past. Deeper than I'll Put a foot up in the crack of your Ass.
Come on, let's do this. Your Little pals can witness how Vicious this Westchester alpha Bitch is. I'm straight up malicious. A verbal curb stomper. Since we Were toddlers, I've studied every Chink in your armor, and between Your folks' divorce and that haircut On ya I'm really not sure which one's The Bigger Shondeh.
Rebecca: That means "disgrace." I'm translating For the Goys. Our life lines have Been parallel like corduroys. But no we'll see whose bars will Prevail in this beef of two hard-as-nails Shebrews from Scarsdale!
Audra Levine: We've got a conflict of interest.
Rebecca: I'm about to give Levine the Business.
Audra Levine: Spttin' venomous hate --
Rebecca: Penetratin' her defenses --
Audra Levin & Rebecca: It's a JAP Battle.
Darryl: A what?
New York Lawyers: A Jewish American Princess...
Audra Levine: Rap battle.
Darryl, Paula, & Josh: Daughters of privilege...
Audra Levine: Spittin' mad flow.
New York Lawyers: Find that term offensive?
Audra Levine: Too bad, yo!
Audra Levine & Rebecca: Oh snap, it's a JAP battle rap.
Rebecca: Look: academically, you could Never catch me. You were close, But no match scholastically. No How no way. I put the "O.G" in "5.0 GPA."
Audra Levine: Well speaking of which, are You AP graded? 'Cause these days, You look a bit heavily weighted. And all your book-crackin' don't Make up for the fact that I'm Strapped with that killer instinct That you lack. Sweetheart, here's What you're not understanding: I'm street smart.
Rebecca: You mean 'cause you minored In urban planning? Bitch, I know You, that tough act's a bluff. So sheket bevaka shut the fuck Up!
Audra Levine: Your temper! You lost it! Aw! Cute! Like you're gonna lose This lawsuit. But here's one Category where you no rival: Blowing frat guys with your A.E. Pi-Hole!
Rebecca: And I banged your hedge-fund Manager Fiance! Back in college Over Winter holidays. Bathroom Stall at the Matzo Ball and Honestly? I gotta say: Really not hot all. Small dick, Rotten lay.
Darryl, Paula, & Josh: This is...
Rebecca: A JAP battle.
New York Lawyers: Bane of my existence...
Rebecca: You're an asshole!
Audra Levine: From Golden's Bridge...
Rebecca: To North Castle.
Audra Levin & Rebecca: Wipe you off the map in this JAP battle rap.
Audra Levine: Bunch, you're a curse, you're a Blight, we were frenemies at first Spite. Think your verse is tight? Then you're trippin' like birthright. I'll wipe the mirth right off your Fugly mug and fill you full of slugs Like a straight up thug!
Rebecca: Uh, that word is racist. Someone Oughta tell you. Like me! I belong To the ACLU.
Audra Levine: Spare me. I'm a card-carrying Member. Plus I spent a semester In Kenya, remember?
Rebecca: Well, I volunteered in Ghana.
Audra Levine: Well I guess that makes us equal.
Rebecca: Well it's settled then:
Audra Levine & Rebecca: We're both cool with black people.
Audra Levine: 'Cause we're liberals.
Rebecca: Duh! Progressive as hell.
Audra Levine & Rebecca: Though of course I support Israel.
Rebecca: Audra. Wait. We share so many Traits. Should we shake hands And erase the hate created by Our mothers pitting us against Each other for accolades and Grades? We were egged on like Seder plates!
Audra Levine: Nah. In summation, you left New York for this fuckin' shtetl. And now you're like "oh Audra, Let's settle." You wanna get salty Like the dead sea? Word. But call off This suit, or you're dead see, word.
Appears on these pages
"JAP Battle" is a rap battle face off between Rebecca Bunch and her nemesis Audra Levine. During...