1x16 Promotional photo 7

Heavy Boobs
Performer(s): Rebecca Bunch — First Appearance: ""Josh's Sister is Getting Married!""
Written by: Rachel Bloom, Adam Schlesinger and Bola Ogun — Genre: R&B Dance-Pop

I got them heavy boobs, heavy boobs, they each have their own memoirs!
— Rebecca Bunch

"Heavy boobs" is a song performed by Rebecca Bunch. In it she explains to Valencia Perez the pros and cons of having a large bust size. The song was first heard in the Season One episode "Josh's Sister is Getting Married!". The song is track number 22 on the Crazy Ex-Girlfriend: Original Television Soundtrack (Season 1 - Vol.2).

The song with lyricsEdit

Heavy Boobs (feat

Heavy Boobs (feat. Rachel Bloom)


I got them
heavy boobs
Heavy boobs
dense like dyin' stars
I got them
heavy boobs
Heavy boobs
I can't run real far

Let me break down
what I just said.
Each of my double D's
has the volume of
a toddler's head
Not bitchin' 'bout my boobies
they look super fly in shirts
but if I swung them in your face
you'd be like:

"Oh my God that hurt!"
"I'm blind!"
"Holy crap!"
"I literally can't see!"
"I have permanent retinal damage!"
"I'm suing you, your heavy boobies!"

Heavy boobs
Heavy boobs
dense like dyin' stars
I got them
Heavy boobs
Heavy boobs
they each have their own memoirs!

What you gotta know
is that boobs may be where it's at
but if you cut them open their just
sacks of yellow fat!

Stuff falls into my bra
it's a little bit of a drag!
When I go to bed at night
it's like opening
the Mary Poppins bag!

I got them
heavy boobs
Heavy boobs
dense like dyin' stars
I got them
heavy boobs
Heavy boobs
don't need an airbag in my car!

Here is a list of all of the objects
that I can hold under my boobs:

Ten pencils
Paperback copy of "Arabian Knights"
Dog bone
Remote control
Hardback copy of "Wuthering Heights"

See, when a star is dying
it transforms into a Red Giant and
if the Red Giant does not have
enough mass to fuse carbon
an inert mass of carbon and oxygen
builds up in the center transforming
Into a dense White Dwarf.
And yeah that's like my boobs,
that's what my boobs are like.

I got them
heavy boobs
Heavy boobs
dense like the White Dwarf
I got them
heavy boobs
Heavy boobs
it'd be a catch at fisherman 's wharf!

I got them
heavy boobs
heavy boobs
don't ever forget
that these
heavy boobs
heavy boobs
are just sacks of yellow fat!
Like the stuffing of a couch
they're just sacks of yellow fat
technically meant to feed a baby
they're just sacks of yellow fat!



In an Entertainment Weekly interview with Rachel Bloom it’s stated that the inspiration for ”Heavy Boobs” was the Beyoncé song “Diva.”
Beyoncé - Diva

Beyoncé - Diva

Live performancesEdit

Rachel Bloom performed this song live in Los Angeles on the 2018 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend tour. Musical accompaniment was provided by show song writers Jack Dolgen and Adam Schlesinger (who also briefly provided vocals). She was joined onstage by Vincent Rodriguez III, Donna Lynne Champlin, Gabrielle Ruiz, Scott Michael Foster, David Hull and Kathryn Burns to close out the performance.
"Heavy Boobs" (CRAZY EX LIVE)

"Heavy Boobs" (CRAZY EX LIVE)

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Songs
Season 1 Songs

🎈 "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Theme"
🎈 "West Covina (song)"
🎈 "The Sexy Getting Ready Song"
🎈 "I'm So Good At Yoga"
🎈 "Feelin' Kinda Naughty"
🎈 "Face Your Fears"
🎈 "I Have Friends"
🎈 "A Boy Band Made Up of Four Joshes"
🎈 "Settle For Me"
🎈 "Sex with a Stranger"

🎈 "I Love My Daughter"
🎈 "I'm a Good Person"
🎈 "I Give Good Parent"
🎈 "What'll It Be"
🎈 "Sexy French Depression"
🎈 "His Status is...Preferred"
🎈 "Where's the Bathroom?"
🎈 "California Christmastime"
🎈 "Women Gotta Stick Together"
🎈 "Dear Joshua Felix Chan"
🎈 "Having a Few People Over"

🎈 "Put Yourself First"
🎈 "Textmergency"
🎈 "Where Is The Rock?"
🎈 "You Stupid Bitch"
🎈 "Group Hang"
🎈 "Romantic Moments"
🎈 "Cold Showers"
🎈 "JAP Battle"
🎈 "Flooded with Justice
🎈 "Gettin' Bi"
🎈 "I'm The Villain In My Own Story"

🎈 "Dream Ghost"
🎈 "I Could If I Wanted To"
🎈 "Clean Up on Aisle 4"
🎈 "Heavy Boobs"
🎈 "I Gave You a UTI"
🎈 "Angry Mad"
🎈 "Oh My God I Think I Like You"
🎈 "After Everything I've Done For You (That You Didn't Ask For)"
🎈 "One Indescribable Instant"

Season 2 Songs

🎈 "Just a Girl in Love"
🎈 "Love Kernels"
🎈 "We Should Definitely Not Have Sex Right Now"
🎈 "Maybe This Dream"
🎈 "Greg's Drinking Song"
🎈 "Ping Pong Girl"
🎈 "The Math of Love Triangles"

🎈 "It Was a S*** Show"
🎈 "We Tapped That Ass"
🎈 "Makey Makeover"
🎈 "Thought Bubbles"
🎈 "Triceratops Ballet"
🎈 "Friendtopia"
🎈 "Stuck in the Bathroom"
🎈 "Research Me Obsessively"

🎈 "You Go First"
🎈 "So Maternal"
🎈 "Duh!"
🎈 "Who's The New Guy?"
🎈 "George's Turn"
🎈 "We'll Never Have Problems Again"
🎈 "Remember That We Suffered"

🎈 "Santa Ana Winds"
🎈 "Let's Have Intercourse"
🎈 "You’re My Best Friend (And I Know I’m Not Yours)"
🎈 "Man Nap"
🎈 "(Tell Me I'm Okay) Patrick"
🎈 "Period Sex"
🎈 "What a Rush to Be a Bride"

Season 3 Songs

🎈 "Where's Rebecca Bunch?"
🎈 "Let's Generalize About Men"
🎈 "You Do/You Don’t Want To Be Crazy"
🎈I've Got My Head In The Clouds
🎈Strip Away My Conscience
🎈 "The Buzzing From The Bathroom"

🎈 "The Moment Is Me"
🎈I Go To The Zoo
🎈 "Scary Scary Sexy Lady"
🎈 "The End of The Movie"
🎈 "Maybe She's Not Such A Heinous Bitch After All"
🎈 "I Feel Like This Isn't About Me"
🎈A Diagnosis

🎈This Is My Movement
🎈The Very First Penis I Saw
🎈My Friend's Dad
🎈My Sperm Is Healthy
🎈George's Coffee Song
🎈Get Your Ass Out Of My House
🎈Without Love You Can Save the World

🎈Fit Hot Guys Have Problems Too
🎈Horny Angry Tango
🎈This Session Is Going to Be Different
🎈 "Buttload Of Cats"
🎈Back In Action
🎈The Miracle of Birth
🎈Nothing is Ever Anyone's Fault

Season 4 Songs

🎈 "Meet Rebecca"
🎈 "Everyone's Got a Story"
🎈 "No One Else Is Singing My Song
🎈 "Maybe I'm Just Broken"




Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Reprises

🎈 "West Covina (I)"
🎈 "West Covina (II)"
🎈 "Settle For Me (I)"
🎈 "Settle For Me (II)"
🎈 "I'm a Good Person (silent)"
🎈 "The Sexy Gonna Do It Song"

🎈 "The Trent Is Getting Ready Song"
🎈 "I Have Friends (reprise)"
🎈 "Flooded with Justice (reprise)
🎈 "I Could If I Wanted To (reprise)"
🎈 "Thought Bubbles (reprise)"

🎈 "The Math of Love Triangles (reprise)"
🎈 "Rebecca's Reprise"
🎈"After Everything You Made Me Do (That You Didn’t Ask For)"
🎈"He's The New Guy"
🎈"Face Your Fears (reprise)"
🎈"I'm Just A Boy In Love"


Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Album Bonus tracks

🎈 "Sex Toys"

🎈 "It's Not Difficult To Define Miss Douche"

🎈 "Santa Ana Winds 6 A.M." (Demo)

🎈 "I'm Just A Girl In Love" (featuring Adam Schlesinger)

🎈 "Settle For Her"