Time to Seize the Day Performer(s): Rebecca Bunch — First Appearance: "I Am Ashamed" Written by: Rachel Bloom, Jack Dolgen, Adam Schlesinger, Michael Hitchcock, & Erin Ehrlich
Rebecca:
WHEN THE MOMENT'S COME TO START ANEW
SET YOURSELF FREE AND FINALLY DO
THE THINGS IN LIFE THAT YOU ARE DESTINED FOR
THE FIRST STEP IS THE HARDEST PART
BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULDN'T START
TAKE THE LEAP AND GET RIGHT TO IT
HERE'S EXACTLY HOW YOU DO IT
YOU STEP OUT THE DOOR
THEN BACK THROUGH THE DOOR
SIT ON THE FLOOR AND STARE AT THE FLOOR
ROCK YOURSELF UNTIL YOU FEEL OKAY
AND CARPE DIEM, CARPE DON'T EM
TIME TO GRAB LIFE BY THE SCROTUM
BUT FIRST, LET'S READ SOME FACTS ABOUT STINGRAYS
AND THEN IT'S TIME TO SEIZE THE DAY!
I WONDER IF THE FRIDGE NEEDS CLEANING
I HAVEN'T CLEANED THE FRIDGE FOR A WHILE
I'D HATE TO LEAVE WITH A DIRTY FRIDGE
DID I GET IT ALL?
NO THERE'S A SMIDGE
MAYBE I SHOULD GET A NEW FRIDGE ONLINE
NOPE, NEVER MIND, IT'S TIME TO FLY
NOW, I'LL SIT RIGHT HERE ON MY COUCH
RESEARCH FRIDGES, I'M NO SLOUCH
IT'S GETTING DARK
THE TIME JUST GOT AWAY
I COULD STILL GO OUT, IT'S NOT TOO LATE
BUT FIRST I NEED TO MASTURBATE
TO SOME PORN, PREFERABLY MALE AND GAY
AND THEN IT'S TIME TO SEIZE THE DAY!
YOU JUST TAKE ONE STEP FORWARD, TWO STEPS BACK
NO, TWO STEPS FORWARD, FOUR STEPS BACK
FIVE MORE STEPS BACK
AND NOW I'M BACK IN BED
OK, NOW I'M READY TO GO
THEY'RE DELIVERING MY NEW FRIDGE THOUGH
WHERE'S THAT FRIDGE?
I CAN'T WAIT AROUND ALL DAY
I HAVE TO GO OUT AND MAKE MY BIG FORAY
HERE I AM, STANDING AT THE DOORWAY
IT'S FINALLY TIME TO SEIZE THE DAY!
BUT FIRST MORE PORN!
