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Where's the Bathroom? main photo

Where's the Bathroom?
Performer(s): Rebecca's mom — First Appearance: ""My Mom, Greg's Mom and Josh's Sweet Dance Moves!""
Written by: Rachel Bloom, Adam Schlesinger, Jack DolgenGenre: Klezmer


Quote
Where's the bathroom, where's the bathroom? You haven't told me where you're bathroom is!
EndQuote
— Rebecca's mom


Where's the Bathroom? was a song performed by Rebecca's mom. The song was first heard in the Season One episode 'My Mom, Greg's Mom and Josh's Sweet Dance Moves!".

The song with lyricsEdit

Where's the Bathroom? (feat03:01

Where's the Bathroom? (feat. Tovah Feldshuh) - "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend"

Lyrics:

WHERE’S THE BATHROOM! WHERE’S THE BATHROOM!
I NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM
TELL ME THAT YOU HAVE A BATHROOM
IN THIS HOVEL YOU CALL HOME.

I DON’T KNOW WHICH WAS BUMPIER
THE PLANE RIDE OR THE TAXI
ALL THESE FREEWAYS ARE A NIGHTMARE
WHERE’S MY PURSE, I NEED MY COMB.

BY THE WAY, YOU’RE LOOKING HEALTHY
AND BY HEALTHY I MEAN CHUNKY
I DON’T MEAN THAT AS AN INSULT
I’M JUST STATING IT AS FACT

I SEE YOUR ECZEMA IS BACK.

ARE YOU USING THE LOTION THAT I SENT YOU?
IF YOU’RE NOT GONNA USE IT
I’LL RETURN IT TO THE STORE.

GOD, I GIVE YOU EVERYTHING
AND STILL YOU JUST WANT MORE MORE MORE
MORE MORE.

WHERE’S THE BATHROOM, WHERE’S THE BATHROOM
YOU HAVEN’T TOLD ME WHERE YOUR BATHROOM IS!

MOM, IT’S UPSTAIRS

OK, FINE, I NEED THE WALK.

WELL, YOUR HOUSE IS OY YOY YOY CHARMING
THOUGH SOME FLORALS WOULDN’T KILL YOU
DO YOU EVER GET A MAID HERE?
IT’S SO NICE TO SIT AND TALK.

SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE
A VENDETTA AGAINST VASES?
AND WHEN DID YOU STOP WEARING MAKEUP?
ARE YOU SURE THAT YOU’RE NOT GAY?
I’D STILL LOVE YOU IF YOU WERE GAY
IT WOULD EXPLAIN THIS VASE VENDETTA
PLEASE JUST TELL ME IF YOU’RE GAY.

AGAIN, I’M NOT GAY

DON’T INTERRUPT ME, YOU’RE ALWAYS WITH THE TALKING
I JUST GOT OFF A PLANE, GIVE ME A MOMENT TO CATCH MY BREATH
IT’S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO
SINCE YOU LIVED INSIDE ME FOR NINE MONTHS
AND YOU STILL HAVEN’T TOLD ME
WHERE THE HELL YOUR STUPID BATHROOM IS!!!!

I SAID IT’S UPSTAIRS

OH RIGHT, THANK YOU

YOU CALL THAT A BATHROOM
THAT’S WHAT PASSES FOR A BATHROOM?
THERE WERE NO BOWLS OF ROCKS OR ANY DECORATIVE SOAPS--

YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE A BATH MAT
WHO DOESN’T HAVE A BATH MAT?
IF YOU NEED A BATH MAT I CAN-- OH, DID YOU HEAR -

A BISHOP IN WISCONSIN SAID SOMETHING ANTI-SEMITIC
SO THE TEMPLE HAS DECIDED TO BOYCOTT CHEDDAR CHEESE--

EVERYONE ASKS HOW YOU’RE DOING
“HOW IS LITTLE BECKY?” “IS SHE STILL A BIG SHOT LAWYER?”
AND TO THAT I JUST SAY “PLEASE.”

YOU WON’T GET A HUSBAND THIS WAY--
AT LEAST YOU HAVE YOUR CAREER
OH WAIT, YOU THREW OUT YOUR CAREER
TO CHASE THIS CALIFORNIA DREAM

I WASTED ALL THAT DOUGH ON HARVARD AND YALE
FOR YOU TO BE LIVING IN A DUMPIN NOWHERE, USA--

GETTING FATTER BY THE MINUTE ON THIS GREASY GOYISH FOOD
JUST PUT MY LUGGAGE IN MY ROOM
COULD I GET A GLASS OF WATER, I’LL BE BACK IN A MOMENT
I NEED TO USE THE BATHROOM AGAIN!


Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Songs
Season 1 Songs

· "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Theme Song"
· "West Covina (song)"
· "The Sexy Getting Ready Song"
· "I'm So Good At Yoga"
· "Feelin' Kinda Naughty"
· "Face Your Fears"
· "I Have Friends"
· "A Boy Band Made Up of Four Joshes"
· "Settle For Me"

· "Sex with a Stranger"
· "I Love My Daughter"
· "I'm a Good Person"
· "I Give Good Parent"
· "What'll It Be"
· "Sexy French Depression"
· "His Status is...Preferred"
· "Where's the Bathroom?"
· "California Christmastime"
· "Women Gotta Stick Together"
· "Dear Joshua Felix Chan"

· "Having a Few People Over"
· "Put Yourself First"
· "Textmergency"
· "Where Is The Rock?"
· "You Stupid Bitch"
· "Group Hang"
· "Romantic Moments"
· "Cold Showers"
· "JAP Battle"
· "Flooded with Justice
· "Gettin' Bi"
· "I'm The Villain In My Own Story"

· "Dream Ghost"
· "I Could If I Wanted To"
· "Clean Up on Aisle 4"
· "Heavy Boobs"
· "I Gave You a UTI"
· "Angry Mad"
· "Oh My God I Think I Like You"
· "After Everything I've Done For You (That You Didn't Ask For)"
· "One Indescribable Instant"

Season 2 Songs

· "Just a Girl in Love"
· "Love Kernels"
· "We Should Definitely Not Have Sex Right Now"
· "Maybe This Dream"
· "Greg's Drinking Song"
· "Ping Pong Girl"
· "The Math of Love Triangles"
· "It Was a S*** Show"

· "We Tapped That Ass"
· "Makey Makeover"
· "Thought Bubbles"
· "Triceratops Ballet"
· "Friendtopia"
· "Stuck in the Bathroom"
· "Research Me Obsessively"
· "You Go First"
· "So Maternal"

· "Duh!"
· "Who's The New Guy?"
· "George's Turn"
· "We'll Never Have Problems Again"
· "Remember That We Suffered"
· "Santa Ana Winds"
· "Let's Have Intercourse"

· "You’re My Best Friend (And I Know I’m Not Yours)"
· "Man Nap"
· "(Tell Me I'm Okay) Patrick"
· "Period Sex"
· "What a Rush to Be a Bride"

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Reprises

· "West Covina (I)"
· "West Covina (II)"
· "Settle For Me (I)"
· "Settle For Me (II)"

· "I'm a Good Person (silent)"
· "The Sexy Gonna Do It Song"
· "The Trent Is Getting Ready Song"

· "I Have Friends (reprise)"
· "Flooded with Justice (reprise)

· "I Could If I Wanted To (reprise)"
· "Thought Bubbles (reprise)"
· "Rebecca's Reprise"

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Album Bonus tracks

· "Sex Toys"

· "It's Not Difficult To Define Miss Douche"

· "Santa Ana Winds 6 A.M." (Demo)

· "I'm Just A Girl In Love" (featuring Adam Schlesinger)
CharactersEpisodesLocationsCast

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