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Where's the Bathroom? main photo

Where's the Bathroom?
Performer(s): Naomi BunchFirst Appearance: ""My Mom, Greg's Mom and Josh's Sweet Dance Moves!""
Written by: Rachel Bloom, Adam Schlesinger, Jack DolgenGenre: Klezmer


Quote
Where's the bathroom, where's the bathroom? You haven't told me where you're bathroom is!
EndQuote
— Rebecca's mom


Where's the Bathroom? was a song performed by Naomi Bunch. The song was first heard in the Season One episode 'My Mom, Greg's Mom and Josh's Sweet Dance Moves!".

The song with lyricsEdit

Where's the Bathroom? (feat

Where's the Bathroom? (feat. Tovah Feldshuh) - "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend"

Lyrics:

[MRS. BUNCH]
Where's... the... bathroom?
Where's the bathroom?
I need to use the bathroom
Tell me that you have a bathroom
In this hovel you call home

I don't know which was bumpier
The plane ride or the taxi
All these freeways are a nightmare
Where's my purse? I need my comb!

By the way, you’re looking healthy
And by "healthy" I mean "chunky"
I don't mean that as an insult
I'm just stating it as fact

I see your eczema is back

Are you using the lotion that I sent you?
If you're not gonna use it I’ll return it to the store
God, I give you everything
And still you just want more-more-more-more-more

Where's the bathroom?
Where's the bathroom?
You haven't told me where your bathroom is!

[REBECCA, spoken]
It's upstairs!

[MRS. BUNCH]
Okay, fine, I need the walk

Well, your house is dot-dot-dot charming
Though some florals wouldn't kill you
Do you ever get a maid here?
It's so nice to sit and talk

Since when do you have a vendetta against vases?
When did you stop wearing makeup?
Are you sure that you’re not gay?
I'd still love you if you were gay
It would explain this vase vendetta
Please just tell me if you're gay!

[REBECCA, spoken]
Again, I am not gay!

[MRS. BUNCH]
Don't interrupt me!
You're always with the talking
I just got off a plane
Give me a moment to catch my breath
It's the least you can do since you
Lived inside me for nine months
And you still haven't told me
Where
The hell
Your stupid bathroom is

[REBECCA, spoken]
Again, it’s upstairs!

[MRS. BUNCH, spoken]
Oh, right! Thank you.

(sung)
You call that a bathroom?
That’s what passes for a bathroom?
There were no bowls of rocks
Or any decorative soaps

You don't even have a bathmat
Who doesn't have a bathmat?
If you need a bathmat I can—oh, did you hear?

A bishop in Wisconsin said something anti-Semitic
So the temple has decided to boycott cheddar cheese
Everyone asks how you’re doing
"How is widdle Becky? Is she still a bigshot lawyer?"
And to that, I just say "Please!"

You won't get a husband this way
At least you have your career
Oh wait, you threw out your career
To chase this California dream
I wasted all that dough on Harvard and Yale
For you to be living in a dump
In Nowhere, USA
Getting fatter by the minute
On this greasy, goyish food
Just put my luggage in my room
Could I get a glass of water?
I'll be back in a moment
I need to use the bathroom
Again!


Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Songs
Season 1 Songs

· "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Theme"
· "West Covina (song)"
· "The Sexy Getting Ready Song"
· "I'm So Good At Yoga"
· "Feelin' Kinda Naughty"
· "Face Your Fears"
· "I Have Friends"
· "A Boy Band Made Up of Four Joshes"
· "Settle For Me"
· "Sex with a Stranger"

· "I Love My Daughter"
· "I'm a Good Person"
· "I Give Good Parent"
· "What'll It Be"
· "Sexy French Depression"
· "His Status is...Preferred"
· "Where's the Bathroom?"
· "California Christmastime"
· "Women Gotta Stick Together"
· "Dear Joshua Felix Chan"
· "Having a Few People Over"

· "Put Yourself First"
· "Textmergency"
· "Where Is The Rock?"
· "You Stupid Bitch"
· "Group Hang"
· "Romantic Moments"
· "Cold Showers"
· "JAP Battle"
· "Flooded with Justice
· "Gettin' Bi"
· "I'm The Villain In My Own Story"

· "Dream Ghost"
· "I Could If I Wanted To"
· "Clean Up on Aisle 4"
· "Heavy Boobs"
· "I Gave You a UTI"
· "Angry Mad"
· "Oh My God I Think I Like You"
· "After Everything I've Done For You (That You Didn't Ask For)"
· "One Indescribable Instant"

Season 2 Songs

· "Just a Girl in Love"
· "Love Kernels"
· "We Should Definitely Not Have Sex Right Now"
· "Maybe This Dream"
· "Greg's Drinking Song"
· "Ping Pong Girl"
· "The Math of Love Triangles"

· "It Was a S*** Show"
· "We Tapped That Ass"
· "Makey Makeover"
· "Thought Bubbles"
· "Triceratops Ballet"
· "Friendtopia"
· "Stuck in the Bathroom"
· "Research Me Obsessively"

· "You Go First"
· "So Maternal"
· "Duh!"
· "Who's The New Guy?"
· "George's Turn"
· "We'll Never Have Problems Again"
· "Remember That We Suffered"

· "Santa Ana Winds"
· "Let's Have Intercourse"
· "You’re My Best Friend (And I Know I’m Not Yours)"
· "Man Nap"
· "(Tell Me I'm Okay) Patrick"
· "Period Sex"
· "What a Rush to Be a Bride"

Season 3 Songs

· "Where's Rebecca Bunch?"
· "Let's Generalize About Men"
· "You Do/You Don’t Want To Be Crazy"
·I've Got My Head In The Clouds
·Strip Away My Conscience
· "The Buzzing From The Bathroom"

· "The Moment Is Me"
·I Go To The Zoo
· "Scary Scary Sexy Lady"
· "The End of The Movie"
· "Maybe She's Not Such A Heinous Bitch After All"
· "I Feel Like This Isn't About Me"
·A Diagnosis

·This Is My Movement
·The Very First Penis I Saw
·My Friend's Dad
·My Sperm Is Healthy
·George's Coffee Song
·Get Your Ass Out Of My House
·Without Love You Can Save the World

·Fit Hot Guys Have Problems Too
·Horny Angry Tango
·This Session Is Going to Be Different
· "Buttload Of Cats"
·Back In Action
·The Miracle of Birth
·Nothing is Ever Anyone's Fault

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Reprises

· "West Covina (I)"
· "West Covina (II)"
· "Settle For Me (I)"
· "Settle For Me (II)"
· "I'm a Good Person (silent)"
· "The Sexy Gonna Do It Song"

· "The Trent Is Getting Ready Song"
· "I Have Friends (reprise)"
· "Flooded with Justice (reprise)
· "I Could If I Wanted To (reprise)"
· "Thought Bubbles (reprise)"

· "The Math of Love Triangles (reprise)"
· "Rebecca's Reprise"
·"After Everything You Made Me Do (That You Didn’t Ask For)"
·"He's The New Guy"
·"Face Your Fears (reprise)"
·"I'm Just A Boy In Love"

· TBA

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Album Bonus tracks

· "Sex Toys"

· "It's Not Difficult To Define Miss Douche"

· "Santa Ana Winds 6 A.M." (Demo)

· "I'm Just A Girl In Love" (featuring Adam Schlesinger)
CharactersEpisodesLocationsCast